Consequences of Generosity
The Robbins text defines the principle of reciprocity as “the social principle that giving
a gift creates social ties with the person receiving it, who is obliged to eventually
reciprocate.” Before this was brought up in lecture I had not given much thought to the act of
gift giving. Upon reflection, I had the realization that when receiving a gift there truly is a
certain amount of obligation in returning one with the same or greater value. We called this
in class a balanced exchange, because there is either immediate or eventual balance in value.
In this essay, I am going to analyze my own experiences and the unforeseen consequences of
being generous with giving and receiving gifts.
Recently, I was invited out to Applebee’s with a small group of people from work. I
really wanted to attend but knew that with only two dollars and some odd cents in my
checking account, I would be tempted to buy something to eat. When I told my coworker I did
not have enough money to go, she said it was not a big deal because she had a gift card for
the restaurant she wanted to use up. Even at that point, I still did not feel comfortable to go
because I felt ashamed accepting money from someone. Eventually after work we arrive at
the restaurant and my friend who is paying for me was not sitting next to me and said from
across the table “oh just get whatever you want!” Subsequently, the whole table knew that
she was buying for me. It was embarrassing, but I was so thankful for her generosity. When I
was choosing something to eat I tried to pick the cheapest thing. In learning about the
concept of balanced reciprocity, I was thinking to myself when am I going to pay her back
because saying thank you just doesn’t feel like enough. It may have been enough for her but
that does not mean that I still don’t feel uneasy about owing her. Also, I want the friendship
we have to stay stable and healthy. The guilt I feel from the generosity of my friend is the
consequence of accepting the gift.
Another example involves Christmas time. I have three siblings and I love them so
much that I wanted to get them something. I knew I didn’t have a big budget for presents so I
bought them each a box of their favorite kind of cookie. I felt pleased with my gift because in
my family, food is a very important aspect of being social. Unfortunately, when my sister
opened her present disappointment was written all over her face. My brothers were excited
and opened their boxes immediately. The consequence of this situation is that my generosity
was met with disappointment and a lack of appreciation. That feeling hurts the giver and it
makes me think twice a little bit about giving gifts when I do not always have the financial
flexibility to do so.
Thirdly, in our culture we give gifts for birthdays, Christmas and other occasions and
what I am going to analyze is how we feel during those exchanges. Depending on personality,
you may like being at the center of attention or would rather have the spot light off of you.
My boyfriend is the type who likes to participate but prefers the spotlight to be somewhere
else. So when it comes to his birthday or Christmas and he is opening presents he said that he
never knows how to appropriately react to the gift he is given. He says it is especially hard to
control your reaction or give that right one when receiving something you don’t want. Also,
he shared that he only tries to act excited or extremely thankful to spare the feelings of the
giver.
In conclusion, being generous has its benefits to the receiver and the giver. But upon
reflection of the topic of reciprocity, a debt can occur when a gift is given because we are
obligated to give one back. In addition, we bare a part of ourselves in a gift that we give. It is
a symbol of our appreciation, love or it may congratulate a rite of passage. So when a gift is
rejected it hurts the relationship that it is part of.

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